Hi, I’m Anci! Nice to meet you. Whether you are a spam-bot trying to invite me to a scam dating website or offer me highly-effective Viagra pills (btw I’m not interested in neither of those, but thanks!) or an actual human being getting here by accident when clicking page 57 on Google search, welcome! I’m glad you’re here.
For the past few years, I’ve been playing with the idea of starting a blog. And yes, years is correct because I am a crazy helpless procrastinator procrastinating on my procrastination (now that’s some keyword stuffing here, huh?). No, but seriously. I’ve run a few blogs before, mostly during my teenage years (I’m 25 now if you really want to know).
I’ve always loved reading, and I’ve always loved to write. Writing for myself felt incredibly dull, and writing for my family meant they would probably love anything I wrote.
When I was 13ish, I created my first blog about The Sims 2. I was obsessed with that game. And I mean that quite literally – I was able to spend 14+ hours playing it during the weekend and all afternoon after I came back from school.
Later on, when the puberty hit me hard, I started blogging about my desperate desire to lose weight. At that time (and I believe even today) websites focused on obsessive weight loss were called “pro-ana” blogs. This is a chapter in my life that I am not proud as they prefigured problems that were about to come.
During my university studies, I started a website where I hopelessly tried to promote self-love, which I, indeed, had none for myself. I understood very soon that it’s hard to preach something you don’t have, something you don’t understand, and something you don’t know how to give yourself. So I gave up on my blog again.
Now, a few years later, the desire to express myself through written words doesn’t seem to cease. So, I decided to give myself one more chance to try it. You know, now that I’m a wiser, smarter, and mature woman (sarcastic tone intended), it has to work out, right?!
I thought about the topics I’d like to cover. What do I love? Everything. What am I good at? Nothing. But there are a few things I do care about, among others – binge eating & eating disorders in general, self-acceptance, and procrastination.
What I think has always stood in my way to commit to blogging full-time is I couldn’t find a label, a specific box to fit my blog (and my self-deprecating personality) into.
Mental health and struggles (eating disorders, anxiety, panic, procrastination, and self-hatred) have been a massive part of my life. So it naturally occurred to me it’s something I could write about. But I’m not officially qualified to talk about it, because I don’t have any medical or psychological background. Moreover, I have a weird kind of humor (the one when you’re the only one laughing to your own jokes type) which doesn’t go along with any serious topics.
I am obsessed with fitness, healthy foods, veganism, and mindfulness, yet I fail to be consistent because of my binge eating and procrastination problems.
Music is another huge part of my life, but it doesn’t go along with my extreme shyness and introvert personality (it took me two years to face my shyness and make an appointment at the dentist, so I’m not exaggerating).
And the last option – writing about my life – was out of the game right away. Why? Because A) my life is super boring even for me (I wake up, I procrastinate, I go to work, I come home, I binge & procrastinate a little more, and I go to bed). B) I don’t feel “good enough” to run a my-life oriented life. C) I’d feel like a total egoist and extremely self-centered person, and D) I honestly don’t think anyone would care.
So, what to do when you’re mediocre in everything? What to do when you like many things, but you don’t stand out in any of them? What to do when you don’t fit into any of those blog labels – fitness, lifestyle, fashion, etc.?
I realized one thing. Don’t we all start with nothing? Aren’t we all confused and uncertain of where we’re going when we’re standing at the starting line? We might know what we want and what we don’t, but these things can have hundreds of shapes, sizes, and values.
So, this is what I’m starting with. I couldn’t find myself the perfect box to fit in. I like to think and write about many things. Eating disorders, self-acceptance, veganism, health, fitness, education, effects of social media, and more. So, for now (or for as long as I’ll keep this blog alive, fingers crossed), you can put me in the “unclassifiable” box. You know, the one full of useless things, things someone forgot and never came back for or things people forget they have, and once they found them, they throw them away because they never needed them in the first place (geez, I really need to learn to write shorter sentences. period.)
If “unclassifiable” wouldn’t be available, I could also probably make it into the “weird” or “do-not-open-it’s-too-weird-in-here” box. I believe I could also stand out in the “too-shy-too-awkward” and “please-don’t-talk-to-me-I’m-not-good-at-this” box. And even the “the-humor-nobody-understands-and-it-isn’t-really-funny” box could take me in.
Now, on a more serious note (not really), I’d like to say I’ll post as much as possible, but it wouldn’t be right to start our relationship with a lie. I am a severe procrastinator (another keyword stuffing, are you serious?!), probably the worst one you ever met, so whatever promises I make, don’t believe me.
If I say I’ll post on Wednesday, it’s probably going to be on Sunday…four weeks later. If I say that post is coming at 10 AM, it may actually be true, but you can bet I haven’t started to work on it sooner than 9:41 AM. So, if any procrastinator promises you something, don’t believe them.
Whatever box you put me into, I’m happy you came by and spend your precious time reading these lines. Now you’re probably thinking “Geez, 5.59 minutes of my life that I’m never getting back” or even better yet “What the f*** was that?”
And if you wonder how I got these 5.59 minutes, I counted the number of words (1118) and multiplied the amount of time a regular person spends on reading. (I told you, my head is a weird place). It’s 200 words per minute if you’re wondering.